Piedmont Avenue Pumpkin Patch • 4414 Piedmont Avenue • Oakland • 94611 • (510) 967-9363

Halloween Jokes

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Q: How do you fix broken pumpkin?

A: WIth A Pumpkin Patch


Q: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
A: His heart wasn’t in it.


Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have any guts!


Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the body shop.


Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball?
A: Because he had no BODY to go with.


Q: What room does a ghost not need?
A: A living room!


Q: Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A: Because you can see right through them!


Q: What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?
A: A sandwich!


Q: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A: A nectarine!


Q: What kind of dessert does a ghost like?
A: I scream!


Q: What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?
A: A cocker poodle boo.



Q: What do moms dress up as on Halloween?
A: Mummies!


Q: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?
A: Scarespray!


Q: What kind of pants do ghosts wear?
A: Boo-Jeans.


Q: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
A: Because they have a lot of spirit.


Q: Why is a skeleton so mean?
A: He doesn’t have a heart.


Q. Why did the Cyclops close his school?

A. Because he only had one pupil.


Q. Where do dead Kardashians go on Halloween?

     A.     MaliBOO!


Q. What kind of streets do zombies live on?

     A.     Dead-ends.


Q. Why are ghosts always hungry?

     A.     Because the food goes right through them!


Q. What did the little ghost say to his mom?

     A.     "I've got a boo boo.


Q. How do you make a witch itch?

     A.     Take away her W.


Q. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?

A. Any old girl he can dig up.


Q: Who turns the lights off at halloween? A: The light’s witch!


Q: When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?
A: When you drop it; then it’s squash!


Q: Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?
A: It had no guts!


Q: Why were the two pumpkins so close?
A: They had deep roots!


Q: How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?

A: With A Pumpkin Patch


Q: What kind of ghost haunts a chicken coop?

A:  A Poultry Geist


Q: What do ghosts drink?

A: Evaporated Milk


Q: How do you make a milkshake?

A: Run up to a glass of milk an yell BOO


Q: WHYdid the baby ghost go to doctor before Halloween?

A: A BOOster shot


Q: Why does the cemetery have a gate around the whole thing?

A: Because people ar dying to get in


Q: What's large and grey and wears glass slippers?

A: Cinderellaphant



Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

A: He had no body to go with


Q: What happens when ghost scrapes knee? A: A: He gets a boo boo


Q: What you call monster who flies his kite in rainstorms? Benjamin Franklinstein


Q: What is Dracula favorite coffee?

A: Decoffinated


Q: Why don't mummies have friends?  

A: They're too wrapped up in themselves


Q: Why do vampires need mouthwash?

A: They have bat breath


Q: Do zombies eat popcorn with theirfingers ?

A: No, they eat their fingers separately


A boy went to a Halloween party with a sheet over his head. Are you here as a ghost? Asked his friends and he said no I'm undercover agent


Q: What do eye doctors give out on Halloween ?

A: Candy corneas


Q: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?

A: It raises their spirits


Q: Why don't ghosts like rain?

A: It dampens their spirits.


Q: What you call vampire that lives in kitchen?

A: Count Spatula